A collection of thoughts unbound and scrawlings in the life and times of Mr. Wordy
Showing posts with label lamentations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lamentations. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Adventures in the Timeline of Marc

   ...It is closing time at Wendy's. the outside lights are dim, it's 12:01 and a single car pulls to the window.

    "WE ARE CLOSED." a polite voice whispers. The grill is still hot, with pattied meat well cooked. Fries bath in salt under warm sunlight. The mop stands like a spear in Adam's hands. It was later, that the time came to count discards and begin the arduous task of cleaning. First I collected the beef patties from the flattop and stored for tomorrow's chili. Wendy's continued to impress me with it's near-lack of food waste. In past jobs we've been forced to cart away pounds of rotten dishes, veggies and soups. Here we sold such quantity that 'left-over' was also a meaningless. So, I was then that I took the waste, after previous nights management permitted free sandwiches to her hard-working staff post hours. Seeing three pieces of fairy cooked  grilled chicken (well past the 4 hour mark) that could be torn a part and boiled into next-night's meal.
    I gave Linda the count, "Four crispy chickens and I took the grilled." I said cheerily.

    She stopped entirely as if struck, turning slowly we connected eyes. "you can't do that."

    I paused. I had suspected the previous manager's policy of over cooked sandwiches was not entirely sanctioned. See, at Monica's we had the luxury of eating damaged, burned or extra food. But only after hours. we were also given allotted shift meal )provided we had a busy night). But knowing, as I do from stories from my ex, ruby's tales of managerdom at Joann Fabrics, I predicted that Wendy's has a strict, you want it, you pay for it attitude towards freebeing employees. Personally I feel that the workers, as part owners, community members and operators of Wendy's have a right to food that we cooked, though purchased by the franchise, is by now unsellable, in the eyes of the owners, fit for the roaches in the dumpster. Thus, I did feel quite confident in intervening in the process of grill to trash. Being fired was the worst outcome.

    "I can pay for it." I offered, perhaps I could keep this job after all. With a second job on the horizon and school still 4 months off, I might test my ability to run two jobs at once, and save my position as Wendy's Crew.

    Linda shrugged. And I felt a tingle of anticipation, a shrivelling, worrisome sensation in my sprunjer.

Silence.

   Yet, It wasn't the repercussions that I thought of from taking discard meat from Wendy's that worried me, but the ominous way she slouched her shoulders and shook her head and said "I'm sorry. and they have you on Camera." She pointed to the dorms upon the ceiling, I waited for something to happen. Nothing. We finished closing, and still not a word after the lights flickered off. While wiping down the stainless steal I speculated what being fired was like. It had happened before, in such a terrible manor that I had grown steal over my heart. Though I felt the cause to be unjust; I loved working Ge-Angelo's but I never did befriend the owner, I was too unready in his eyes (perhaps I was - I was the only one in the kitchen without aspirations of Chefhood. I worked simply for a dime whilst I looked for careers outside a kitchen). I reasoned being fired because I took food one might scavenge from the trash, counted as trash, and, momentarily, still counter-bond. Then why the horrified look and the dejected nod. the sorrow in Linda's big brown eye? surely she did not believe anyone could love a job so much to be crushed by the prospect of an other's forced absence. Well, I began to think of other scenarios. Maybe she'd fire me at the end of close, maybe Ed, the General Manager would do it the next day I worked. The idea of having to wait another day to be laid off didn't seem to be that bothersome. I began to images wild scenarios, the police showing up in a strobe-light lit cars of red and blue. The heal risks of  4 hour plus chicken. The ghost of Dave appearing that night to haunt me. A dark cabal of fast-food owners adding me to their assassination list.


___________________________________________________________
I am typing this so the word will know my story.
I hear the creak of floor boards and the chilling cry cold wind on the windows.
IF I survive the night, I shall post anew.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Days of music - 5/9/11

day 5 - a song that makes you sad.
I guess I've got ancient history on the brain. Back in Boston I grew up in JP or Jamaica Plains, a borrow of Boston. I remember laying awake at night. Sometimes you could hear pistol shots in the off the corridors of apartments. At the time I didn't know what the sound was - it wasn't until years later in Michigan that I connected the popping sound to the sound of a pistol. The retort is much quieter in the din of a city then in the lane of a shooting gallery.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The sun and the moon and clouds and stars

Lastly, the sun languishes.
Lately, the horizon of a grey sky.
smoke hot and sweet
smolders from red bitter light
in my palm. Thrown shadows like shards.
over the raised letters
Of my books once through
Did Escape they’d provide?
No more do words I find enthrall in
Tangle tales and adventures.
All have ended, all have gone

Lastly, the words falling
Lately, closed tome in my lap
Soft, stitched-by-hand
in quilted reds with pine
and hugging burgundy hues
Not sex nor booze nor food
Tastes pleasing on these lips
What was Siddhārtha’s choice?
Too tired to wake, too wakeful to slumber
Upon my side to lay
And consign to fitless dream
My Beautiful Annabel Lee

hear now, as I write:
I seek not pity, nor sympathy nor advice.
Only you, dear reader, your ears
or rather your eyes to listen
through finger tips tapping tick tick tacking
Only to say you, I, a pal - a cohort
like you, I, adrift - a question

Friday, July 9, 2010

Fleas

I guess i really am a flea-bitten hippie now. It started harmlessly enough, Pepper went too long without Frontlone treatment. So we treated her when these horrible insects appeared. They, of course, like all sentient creatures in dire situations, were forced to find a new home: me. I found anit-bug/anti-flea stuff - mycodex- and sprayed the house. It promises "to break the flea life cycle and controls reinfestation for up to 210 days." This was three or five days ago. Today, I believe, it couldn't get worse. Flea bits are hundred times worse then mosquitoes, thistle, maybe worse then ivies of varying toxicity.

I did find a remedy (kinda). While hydrocortisone based products reduce itching and irritation by immunosuppression, products like Afterbite™, mostly Ammonia, reduces itchiness presumably by lowing the skin PH. I come to this conclusion because baking soda (CHNaO3) is a fantastic treatment for wasp stings. Anywho, I was reading a book about curative baths and they suggested a tincture of black tea to ease the skin. Ok it's not really a tincture, but a tea bath - a slightly brownish tannin heavy solution of bathwater. I tried both types of baths. Yesterday the baking soda and today the tea. It's definitely weird to have your bath water smell like delicious breakfast tea. I was supposed to use 2oz of dry tea leaves but i only had one tea bag left and no scale. So accuracy is out the window in these experiments. Also, I neglected to record or mark a bath-water level.

The baking soda bath definitely made me feel slightly better.If only for 45 minutes. The tea bath was much more relaxing. I also noticed with grim satisfaction many (5) drowned fleas. Tomorrow I guess I'll have to come up with some more aggressive solutions.

I hate parasites. especially ones I notice or leave incriminating evidence of their leechiness. Sure, i might no need all my blood; but i certainly don't need hundreds of horrible bites always arranged in groups. if i were a more creative man i'd come up with a decoder for reading the crytic messages the fleas are leaving in their bite patterns.

I think the worst of it is that neither Pepper nor Ruby seem to be suffering as much as I.  She's very intent on not scratching and Pepper, well, she's a cat. You can never really tell if she cares or notices the bugs. I've been thinking if I'm going to live with body lice I should eat them when I find them. It only seems appropriate. Vengeance, really, an eye for an eye and the like. Bite me, bugger, I'll bite you right back.

I've always romanticized about being a pirate. I guess this is a step towards living the dream. Yet without a ship or a crew I'm only a roof-over-my-head away from being a creative homeless guy. I just hope

until better daze, Marcus

Friday, June 25, 2010

Le Sigh

This week, for me, has been terrible. I got a staff infection and my face swelled up like a basketball. My computer's mother's turned into charcoal over night. I got fired from Ge-Angelo's. I could go on discussing my woes. So I will.

But whatever issues that occur here, on this blog, are relatively minor compared to the troubles across the world. I simply need a place to vent my frustrations. This wasn't what i had in mind when i started blogging. It's hard to resist the pull to talk about the trifles in one's own life. even as i write this i think about Ruby in Germany baring witness to the slow demise of her Oma. (Oma is German for Grandmother) Oma is a strong hearted person. A stroke has stolen her movement and age sapped her physical strength yet still she trudges on in her life with all the pertinaciousness of a waterbuffalo through impassible swamp. what's more, she does it with good humor and optimism. If we could all be so fortunate.

Back to me, then

I finally lost my job at Ge-Angelo's.

The thing that bothers me the most, I think, about being fired is just the way it happened. I was professional in everything i did. I have kitchen experience. I know how a kitchen needs to run. I wasn't eating on the line like other chefs. I wasn't licking my fingers while plating deserts. I understood the importance of presentation. I washed my hands between each task. I tried to communicate to people, but I'm just not used to yelling. We never had to yell at eachother at Monica's. I'm short, so it's hard to reach the items on the upper shelves where everything i need to do my job seems to be stacked. I tried to get along with the other chefs. I just could not make connections with people. Frankly I felt unliked; I don't think anyone respected me.

I was fired because this the third time Ryan had to talk to me. this time it was about dishes. I cleaned dishes at Monica's and I cleaned dishes at Bagel Beanry and I clean dishes at home. I know how to clean dishes. Hannes and Nick were helping me put dishes away 'cause we got swarmed. They had a responsibility, too, to make sure they were clear of spots and grime before being put away. If there were dirty dishes being put away they were also apart of it. . According to Ryan all the fucking dishes were dirty.I guess because i the designated Dish Monkey it falls to me. I dunno. They weren't dirty when they came out of the sanitizer. Maybe that's broken, Ryan.

Some part of me says I shoulda argued with him. That I shoulda pointed out all the possible problems mentioned above. But i just stood there and listened to him I denied some parts of what he said but I didn't give any strong argument against it. It was the same as the other two times. There were reasons why.

It's hard. You know, you get swamped and it's hard to come up with coherent thought in the moment.

What if I did? What could I gain? Save a job I don't like working for a guy who doesn't like me, always looking for the next chance to fire my ass, no chance for promotion, little opportunity for a raise and no job satisfaction?

At least it would've been a pay check.

I dunno. what bothers me is now i have to look for another job and i don't know if i can use this guy as a reference.

It's just that i feel like every time I try to do something everything goes bad. I went yesterday to get my college stuff in order and i get fired. the day before i cleaned my place and i got a staff infection. My face is swelled up like a basketball. I can't think with out hurting. I tried to transcribe some work from my notebook to my computer for Revisioning and my motherboard turned into charcoal. I'm afraid that if i clean my car the engine's gonna explode.

I can't seem to get away. I wanna tell somebody off. Yell my feelings. I can look 'em in the eye and think it but the words just aren't there.

I miss Ruby. She could put this into perspective.

I fear that she deserves better than me. I feel like I can't provide a lifestyle for her. She deserves more than a shitty place in a shitty town paid for by a shitty part-time job. Someone to be with who can fight for himself. Even if it's about something he doesn't think is that important. Just stand up. Don't take being told your terrible at what you do!

Fuck Ryan! I'm a great chef. I'm an amazing sauteer. I love tossing some pasta or some vegetables. Flavoring things! I love creating dishes that satisfy and challenge the pallet. It doesn't always work out great. hey, cooking is about experimentation. But when it does, yumm!

You know, the first month i worked there i tried to do everything by their (Ryan's) letter, by his law. That didn't work. I got reprimanded for working that way because there is not priority. And he keeps his recipes secrete! How can I make something on the fly if i don't know the ingredients? So then i tried being creative. do it the way i would do it if it were my place. I utilized the skills I developed from previous work experiences. I got reprimanded for that. it wasn't the method he wanted even if the results were the same. So then i said fuckit. I'm just gonna show up and do it and not care and not make it something personal. I got fired for that!

I just don't know anymore.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

In an electronic sandbox, I can erase and continue in the same breath

From an exercise

    What ever happened to stories pasted?

    What is wrong with the pen?

    Why do I condem myself to write in an electric sandbox?

    Too easy to make changed as I type?

    Too easy for first time writing?

    Do I know the tool well?

    Should a swordsmen be given a blade before the art of defence?

    Why not the apt trainer jump to the advanced arts first?

    Later, can the basics not be filled in?

    Was it once said, the pen, as with the sword, once a stroke is made it cannot be unmade?

    Can practice be constructive when learning the same bad habits?

    Did the one armed swordsmen have a foe before the accident?

    Once started can we never go back?

    Is there art in mistakes?

    Mistakes help us learn?

    What of glossing them over with backspace key?

    Do mistakes migrate?

…

    Blankspace,

    I wish I could track changes before they were made.

Monday, March 15, 2010

new and newer

recently i've taken to working by candle light.
i love it!
in addition to adding a certain gothic, pre-1900s sauvignon (savageness) to the atmosphere. it provides a since of time. both contextually and chronographically*. candles burn and flicker with an alarming immediacy when they've lit too long.
i like the chronarch* that a twittling candle provides.
it helps focus me.
regrettably it helps little towards day job prospects.
le sigh.


*also, why isn't this a recognized word?
**i wished i knowed latin better to better spell this word i'd hoped to create.

Twitter

Look here! https://twitter.com/ThingsThatSmile