On me

 For now, i have an income. I suppose that's something to be proud of because, recentally, there was threat against my current employment. But all this has got me thinking of things. Things I own, would like to own and my own self.

As I write this I am drunk. Drunk as hell. So take me with liberty when i say I've never been had much attachment fir possessions. I grew up with Buddhist thought. I was given a car by me parents for which has given me much aid and support. yet, it is not in owning the car but the experience of it that I value most.  Recently, however, I've been pulled into enjoying ownership of things. Things around me. Not so much that I care more about the objects. No, rather that people I care about - a person I want around me- has need for items in her life. Specifically, plants. Plants to surround and beautify the area. (one could do worse then have want for beauty and growth.) My upbringings have taunt me the eight-fold path and the four noble truths. of which include the despisement of objectification. I should not want objects not desire  for - make an object out of- a living thing.

Why? I now ask. Why? Don't i deserve something? Don't I deserve things -reward- for my toils? The love and hardships my closest companion express are to create, to grow, to expand and enjoy the fruits of her (or his) hard work. I can't see how that could be a bad thing.

Perhaps I've strayed from the beliefs of my upbringing. Where before I cared not but for others I think of myself, of my own gain and loss.  Where once there was contentment there is, now, distension. I want. I desire. I need. I postulate having and not having. I addition to my growing selfishness is the feeling of ambition. I want recognition for my works. I'm no longer content to do. To work enough to drink and play is no longer enough. I want to express my deepest thoughts and cry My Desires to the sky.

For  those readers not known, the Eight Fold Path is a Buddhist teaching of life. they seek to teach Wisdom, Ethics and philosophy. All towards the attainment of the four noble truths: (which, as follows, should sound familiar to used to evangelical Christianism.) First: there is suffering and it is unavoidable. Second, the origin of your pain is beyond your ability to fix. third, you can cease your pain. The way to stop your pain is to follow the eight fold path. It is hard to turn away from what is/was taught to you. I don't know if it is for better or worse (not a plug for the gawd awful comic)  but i am turning from it. I am embracing ambition, desire and need. I want. I seek and I will attain.

   -Marcus Miranti, Freedman

I was fired today.

Well, I think I was fired. Actually, not really fired, a probational warning. A prelude to unemployedness, if you will. It felt like a slap in the face, though. The event highlighted for me my ill fit for Ge-Angelo's kitchen. I don't work hard enough; not for some guy for some place I don't truly care about. Not hard enough for him at any rate. Not hard for myself either. I'll work an hour at scrawling before turning to distractions. Piss away the day with meaningless tasks to show nothing for at the day's end. I call myself a writer yet haven't produced a single finished piece of written work. Not really finished. Any writing I do do is All-About-Me. I'm a selfish writer and an under working novelist. If I could fired myself I suppose I would too. The lazy bum.

It's clear that it is time to move on. To return to Education's grace and proceed down another path. But to Where? Why and What? Will I change just because the work has too?

a hiatus

Hiatus is not the correct term. continuing to not start is more accurate. I started a fictional blog on Tumblr.com. I like the idea of two seperate entites for different reasons -posts. One for thoughts, one for more "professional"-style writings.
However, html tools of Tumblr are terrible. So, I'm rethinking my plan.

New.s

So much has happened recently. I'm not sure where to start. first, I got thrown out of a state park. then, I meet a whole new group of people I call "Addies." I got to hang with some old friends and meet some new ones. I enrolled at ISU. (hurray educations)  I got a scanner I'm totally stoked about. Finally, just may, in general has been a fantastic adventure.

Sunday.
 I traveled several hours to Mt Vernon (affectionately: MV) to attend the Sponge Wedding of Kristine Foster (OOO! Shiny) and Lizz "Keps" Kepsel. Anyway, after a wondrous drive through rolling hills where long, tuffed grass frolicked, wind-wavened like ocean waters, I rolled into the Pal around 2:30 and set up camp. It was oppressively hot. So humid that even blood-sucking insects were too tired to feast. Natey found me dropping payment for the well attended campsite (Although why they charge i haven't a clue. From almost every fire ring drifted lazy smoke of forgotten embers. The Wedding went fabulously and the reception got underway.  We started on the great quantity of drink provided. I, too, thought it pertinent to pack pilsner, though, as i found, it was excess. which made the next events harder. When the shelter's reservation ended (about 5 o'clock) Park Ranger Joe-Mama showed up, demanded we vacate. But not before we dumped all our booze for his sadistic pleasure. the bastard. Our Precious precious booze and cut our party short. we had minors (of which i was unaware) so for not getting ticket and fined i s'pose that is fair. NO. Fuck that! It wasn't fair at all! I'm 24! I have a right to carry beer in a cooler in a park that allows alcoholic beverages. I wish I was less compliant.

Later.
because being kicked out of a state park wasn't enough adventure for an evening, I found myself in Iowa City meandering the Ped-Mall. The rows of pedestrian only streets (well, two lined such to form a 'T') fell willingly under the shade of broad leafed trees. I found a spot under one and sipped a delightful sangria provided by Mundo's Saloon. I read The Time Machine in the orange setting sun. all the while sending out thread for further use of my time. I pasted up Jordan (sorry) and Darcy (also sorry) to return to Cornell College campus. I've not been to Cornell in a ages. the specific reasons for my enforced absence is too long to delve into now (though, with some persuasion, I could be encouraged to regale the populous). more to the point, I found Alro along the way to hang out with a group of folks who will be known to me henceforth as "Addies." Much as entire generations have been cataloged with language (e.g. Hippies, Metalheads, ect.) I've labeled another sect.

Addies.
groups of people characterized by others by their corrosive behavior, favor to excess, and constant use of inebriates. I usually shy from heedless categorizations of subcultures. Recently, I've seen the function of label (as abstract and closed-minded they might be). Addies are born of extremity - but this isn't about them. (actually it is, but i want to wait to talk about this class of person). I would dwell longer of this subculture. In living moment to moment is truly liberating in this: there is a bliss in not caring about the next.

At night.
I sat, bent head listening to the spiny clatter of boxes from 2am delivery. It was the elementary school. from it's rooftop, under waning stars we smoked and now we waited. cold dew soaked my clothes. my ears pounded with each new, muttering step of our  blockade. I, for my part, took our siege to use. I wrote to the stars. to my plight. to all i cared to address. Once the milk was unloaded, a sudden shuttering alerted us to freedom. Thought we were unable to loss one of the party members from the chilled roof top, I left a cashe of  blankets for her safety. Though, as i suspected, she was in more than capable hands and was later retrieved.

Home.
I returned exausted and defeated. the loss of 12 hours and 24 units of beer sapped all my enthusiasm. Thankfully, Arlo a great friend of mine accompanied me a short way. The day was bright and the flowers seemed to smile and dance on the springtime breeze. I thanked my benefactors for their aid and comfort and supply but I shall not the company again of Addies. Not for a while. The sun set before me in great orange sky as I pulled into the rock drive of home. there i rested in the arms of equally tired Ruby, who waited patiently my return.

I am selfish

It is true. I don't think much of others. Though, i do care a great deal of others; mostly I think of others only when they are around me. perhaps it's a bad thing, i don't know. I wasn't always selfish. Once I never thought of my own needs, of my own wants or desires. 

A new Year!

My own personal new year's has come and gone. I celebrated the passing of my 23rd year in fitting style and ushered in the dawn of my 24th in true dissobertude. 

as the merriment abates I prepared for a grand party this weekend. And with it enact sweeping changes in my life. A resolution towards another three hundred some odd days. Firstly, I've separated Fiction work and Non-Fiksun work. Mr. Wordy has a new side. (by which i mean site). At tumblr.com I'll post stories of the fictional world. Blogger will be events and stories of my life. I choose Tumblr because an intellectual great has started a Pizza Blog. It is a sociological foray into food and community. he'll be reviewing experiences at a different locations of notable 'za.

In other news, i've learned that i can make several posts in a day.

Drink and be merry!
-marcus

What a Week!

It has been a wild week of emotional and physical rolling coastering (but, sadly, not literal).

It was mother's day Sunday. And Graduation for ISU on Friday. Between the two, the restaurant was packed. on Saturday we sat 260 tables. many of 6 person parties. An adventurous evening in the kitchen. I was in at 10am (Geangelo's opens at 4pm) for prep work. 11 on Friday by the time i got home. I s'pose the pay will be worth it. though, unlike Monica's, I get no compensation for how well we do each night. (not exactly an instinctive to work hard). I don't put myself out like i did at Monica's - I just don't enjoy the environment, the food, or pretty much anything about the place. I need the money. So for now I'm trapped. At least the cooking part is delightful. I'm learning alot and I've disposable income such that i don't hafta leach off my parents. It's curious, being employed, that is. I've begun carrying cash. I love Cash. I love having cash because i hate Credit. I hate using credit and debit cards. I hate the insanity of economics. As a side note, I think -nein- believe that automated stock trading is abusive to our apparently delicate economy. It's all too much, this economic idea of instant, invisible trade. I'm beginning to hate it all. Hang on a moment, 'cause I'm working towards something here.

  A woman in need of help came across my path. By desperate sharpie on gritty green poster board i knew she asked for help. I gave her a fiver. for yesterday nights grew cold. a midsummer frost. Her hands were cold - thawing chicken. She said any money could buy her a meal -food she said. That day. Tomorrow? Would i have a Fiver tomorrow? Will she?
  Money can't help. Only delay the inevitable. She needs a home, steady income, confidence, some place to warm frozen chicken flesh.
  Later, as i stared into a pizza. Cheese melted just right. laden with cut green peppers, spicy ham, tantalizing mushrooms and thick savory sauce. Steam, flavorful steam drifted from it - mouth watering. My stomach gnarled -growling- in my belly. I thought of her cold hands reaching - clutching- my fiver.
  $10.20 for a pie, .99¢ for a drink. A buck fifty in gas to avoid sleeting rain (same price as bus fare). Twenties and fifties lined my wallet with today's pay.

/Wordinfo.info/

Wordinfo.info is a marvelous search engine parts of words. Like if you wanna know what /-ly/ meant, how it effected the word, what part of the word (prefix/suffix/...) is it, and it's language origins. You could. It's a particularly greet constructing words. I created: Disgaffic: pertaining to or relating to disgaffic, a disorder of being graphically impaired.

I started writting this two days ago, and thought i'd posted it. But that is simply untrue. As such, most of my beleived to be posted post is unavailable (i forgot). Nevertheless, I am really surprised by Wordinfo. other domains of the dot info (something.info) a exist. however not many. I suggest topics.info from Info.com (a pretty good metesreach engine too) for some information. I already

 However good the code is for Wordinfo.info, it is not terribly user friendly. unless you, like me, have a specific interest in word and word parts,  or are used to staring at dictionaries, it is not engaging. It is horribly bleak.

that is all
-Marcus

FCBD

Free Comic Book Day was a blast!
I got all sorts of neat trinkie junk. Wolverine showed me the newest heroclixes and I got to read the newest adventures of Mouseguard and Fraggle rock. of course marvel was in fullest gear with a new release of avengers Iron Man and Thor tag-teaming. Iron Man and Spiderman also debuted new stories lines.

Seeing as I didn't mad-gab every available free book in the store, I call only recall poorly what other comics were available. Artifacts (which wasn't terribly interesting though did show some gratuitous leg shots of it's sexy heroine), Fractured Fables looked curious, Radical also previewed a series of new stories of the dead and dark, and the Simpsons as well in papered form (go comic-book guy).

All in all it was a fanatisic début to the world of graphic novels. For me, I did find myself a new venture. Chip, the story of a 4inch gargoyle who wishes to prove that, despite being short and cute, he can be fierce and scary. a struggle i can relate to. I'm also increasingly interested in Deadpool.

Ruby was not quite as enthused by FCBD as I

FCBD ...tomarro

The first Saturday in May is reserved as Free Comic Book Day.
That's right, American! now you too can enjoy the sweet, sweet pleasure of national handouts like a red-blooded socialists. well more like Marixist Capitalists. I can it Compuitalism. Yes indeed. A rich history dating all the way back to 2002, this eight year experiment excites all penniless pursuers of penned pretend with a penchant perfectly... (Ugh this alliteration is difficult) lets just say story-readers. Across this nation comic publicans will fling wide their doors and invite people to fix upon cunning plot hooks and dazzling art work. According to Jesse Russell, "Free Comic Book Day is all about exposing the current comic book audience and potential future comic book fans to titles and characters they may not normally pick up." I Ames we've only one Comic store engaging: Mayhem. And the next closest is Mayhem of Des Moines. I suspect many citys and townships have similar dispersing of comic retailers. Nevertheless i encourage all to run out and investigate this annual activity.

For more information, go to the web site of your local Comic Book Provider or checkout http://www.freecomicbookday.com/.

Happy readings!
 -Marcus