first date (again)

This morning i did something new. rather something i've not done in years. I took a bike ride. It was amazing. Specaular even. I rode along a deer-trail that snaked the Skunk River. Plus three hours exploring Ames on the back of  two wheels. It gave me some time to think. it also wore my unexercised ass out. So I'll give you the condensed version.

Basicly i sat down with Ruby and professed the awkwardness of our perdiciment. I still had strong feelings about her. I beleive she still feels connected to me as well. I suggested that it might help if we restarted our relationship. A reboot. This evening we went to a movie. A first date that ended with a kiss and a promise of another.

I don't know what all this means. Or if we still have a future. I am not a confindent person. I don't have a strong voice. When i speak i'm often (and easily) over spoken which hurts my esteem. I'm distracted easily and more easily diswaded and disheartened. I seem to causuly accept the misfortunes in my life rather then. face them in order to over come them. I intend to work on these (and other, negitive) aspects of myself.

A honestness is about us. one that lets us tell without fear worries and conserns we have for eachother. Distance seems to help. Though she is feet -no inches- away, I still miss her.

I'll prolly edit this post tomorrow when i Re-awaken. I hope to start posting more in the mornings rather then at night.

thanks for reading.
and the continued discretion of Ruby's and my choices of our life.